What can FX's "The Bear" teach us about hospitality in social work?
AUTHOR — Dr. Jon Singletary, Dean, Garland School of Social Work
“Black and white” means you’re doing your job with competence and efficiency; “color” means you make people feel great about the job you’re doing for them. Getting the right plate to the right person at the right table is service. But genuinely engaging with the person you’re serving, so you can make an authentic connection—that’s hospitality.”
― Will Guidara, Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect
The Bear, from FX, has been my favorite show the past few years. Are you a fan yet? Carmy Berzatto is taking over his family-owned sandwich shop and turning into a fine dining establishment. And, he’s doing it amidst the most painful family situation—a brother who dies by suicide, a mother who abuses alcohol, and cousins who are vying for power and control of the business. One online review describes how “Carmy must balance the soul-crushing realities of small business ownership, his strong-willed and recalcitrant kitchen staff and his strained familial relationships.”
Season Two invites us on a journey with Chef Carmy and his brother’s best friend-turned-manager, Richie, as they find their way to operate the new restaurant together. Carmy is desparately seeking to make everything new as he operates the kitchen; Richie is painfully tethered to the way things were as he runs the dining room. When not tearing each other apart, they desparately want to find a way to work together for the sake of the restaurant’s clientele.
Season Three dropped this summer as my wife was working on a masters degree in school leadership. She was assigned to read Unreasonable Hospitality by the New York chef and restaraunteur, Will Guidara, and as she was reading we noticed the connection between the book and The Bear’s story line. Richie is reading the book in one scene and his story line is inspired by Guidara’s philosophy and his approach to his restaurant, Eleven Madison Park.
Making authentic connections with intentionality and empathy
Guidara writes, “’Black and white’ means you’re doing your job with competence and efficiency; ‘color’ means you make people feel great about the job you’re doing for them. Getting the right plate to the right person at the right table is service. But genuinely engaging with the person you’re serving, so you can make an authentic connection—that’s hospitality.” Guidara tells story after story of making such a connection with his guests, celebrating life’s ups and downs, and learning to see people with greater intentionality, empathy and authenticity.
My wife and I have spent time since the season three release comparing the passion of Carmy and Richie and the real-life passion of Guidara to our schools. Social work is a profession committed to service ... how might the ways we serve move toward hospitality? We want our students to work for justice; how do they learn to do so in ways that are human-centered? There are so many ways we can apply these lessons of unreasonable hospitality to social work education.
Social work education at Baylor University
At Baylor, our faculty are committed to exploring the role and influence of religion and spirituality in social work practice. Hospitality is a Christian virtue focused on generosity and openness to the needs of others. Ancient hospitality, like social work practice, involves welcoming the stranger and offering them food, shelter, and safety.
One of my favorite meal stories is Isak Dinesen’s “Babette’s Feast.” Babette is a Parisian war refugee serves a quaint Danish religious community as their cook, preparing only bland meals befitting their minimalist culture for 15 years before winning a lottery ticket and offering to share the prize money on a lavish feast, revealing her French cooking skills and offering a sacrificial meal that is plentiful and creative. Experiences of pain and anger that had been pent-up for years come to light and are shared with the same authenticity and vulnerability as the meal. This gift of hospitality breaks down experiences of distrust and restores relationships in the community.
Radical hospitality is our goal
At the heart of the Christian faith are stories of unreasonable, or radical, hospitality. Jesus feeds massive crowds with the humble rations of a child, he turns water to fine wine, and on the night of his death, he takes a simple meal of bread and wine, and offers them in the same way he offers his own body and blood for the sake of his friends and family, giving this meal so that others may eat, and giving his life so that others may live.
As we wind down another semester, I am grateful for the ways my colleagues give of themselves for the sake of our students’ learning. Our senior most faculty volunteer for every opportunity to support and mentor students, offering creative ways to provide funded graduate assistantship positions. Our newest staff have gone out of their way to reestablish “the fridge,” our snack room with meals for any student who wants to eat. The generosity of our students as they take care of one another, sharing rides, meals, books, or whatever needs they express, shows a deep commitment to the practice of this virtue as well. In many ways, our practice seems pretty unreasonable already! As I reflect on these examples, I am continually humbled and hope my own leadership measures up. The Garland School of Social Work is not aiming to become a top-tier restaurant, but I do think our own founders would be pretty pleased with the level of hospitality we aim to offer our students and the constituents they serve.
Want to learn about true hospitality? Consider social work. Join us at the Garland School of Social Work. Email swo@baylor.edu to learn how!